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  • outofsmallthingsli
    • Jun 26
    • 3 min read

The Hidden Costs of Reacting to Emotions


Have you ever had someone criticize something you said or did, and you immediately snapped back with a reason or excuse? Maybe you even verbally retaliated, trying to level the playing field. This common reaction often stems from the emotion of defensiveness. I know this scenario well; it's one of my "autopilot" reactions that I'm actively working to overcome.

 

I planned to save tips on processing emotions for the last post in this series, but here's a teaser that works wonders for me. While it's not full processing, it's a crucial step. I've learned to recognize how defensiveness feels in my body. When I sense it, I simply name the emotion to myself: "I'm feeling defensive." Just naming the emotion helps me pause my autopilot reaction. It allows me to listen without feeling the need to defend myself. It’s not always a one-and-done. In one conversation, I probably repeated, “I’m feeling defensive” at least five times. The more I practice, the less frequently I need to call out the emotion to myself.

 

When anger or frustration pop up, reactions may include yelling or even striking someone. When hurt or sadness arise, we often cry. Fear or anxiety may cause increased heart rate, sweating, or trembling. Shame often causes us to blush, lower our head, avoid eye contact, or withdraw from social interaction.

 

There is energy associated with reacting to emotion, which isn’t necessarily bad. But if your reactions hinder relationships or your ability to live your best life, consider getting support. Crying, taking a walk, or punching a pillow may help release some energy, but it doesn’t necessarily process the emotion.

 

You are likely aware of the costs that reacting to emotions has brought into your life, but here are some additional ones to consider:

 

  • Personal Costs: Reacting impulsively can strain relationships, damage mental and physical health, and lead to regret and guilt.

  • Professional Costs: Poor emotional reactions can disrupt workplace dynamics, reduce productivity, and hinder career advancement.

  • Social Costs: Negative emotional reactions can lead to social isolation and conflicts within your community or family.

  • Financial Costs: Emotional stress can result in increased healthcare costs, job loss, and career instability.

  • Long-Term Implications: Chronic emotional stress can lead to serious health issues and hinder personal development.

 

In Dr. Schindler’s book, “How to Live 365 Days a Year,” he claims that three out of every four hospital beds are occupied by people who have EII (Emotionally Induced Illness). Three out of four people who are sick right now would be well if they had learned how to handle their emotions.

 

I would love your thoughts in the comments below! I’d also love to support you in managing your emotions. Schedule a free appointment today.

 

I also have a complimentary resource for you. As you begin your journey of emotional well-being, it’s beneficial to enhance your emotional vocabulary. Take advantage of this free PDF with an extensive list of emotions to get you started.

 

High Five!


In case you missed the first post in this emotion series, enjoy “Confessions of an Emotion Shunner.”

The second in this series is about resisting emotions.

 

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