The Cost of Emotion Shunning – Resisting

A major cost of shunning emotions is a lack of peace. Think of a toddler pulling on your leg for attention, a colleague pushing for a response, or trying to keep a beach ball underwater—it keeps pushing back. Ignoring these attention-seekers disrupts our peace until we address them. Similarly, resisting an emotion only makes it persist.

Three ways we shun emotions that I'll cover in the next few posts are: resisting, reacting, and avoiding. This post focuses on resisting emotions and its costs. If you haven’t read the first blog post in this series, start with “Confessions of an Emotion Shunner” first.

For me, frustration is a common emotion, especially with my perfectionist tendencies. While I’ve improved with practice, I used to pride myself on “holding my frustration in.” But suppressing frustration only masks the underlying energy. It can confuse those around you who see one thing (like a forced smile) but feel another (remember the beach ball analogy?). Suppressing emotions doesn’t lead to fulfilling relationships. As a fun awareness activity, try identifying some of your common emotions that don’t serve you and that you tend to avoid.

Struggling to manage emotions can manifest as physical ailments or "dis-ease" (a term coined by Louise Hay to describe the physical manifestations of emotional distress). For example, I often notice muscle tension and grind my teeth at night. As a child, I would frequently experience an upset stomach, which I now recognize as a manifestation of my anxiety. I've also seen how a mind-body approach can significantly improve physical conditions that seem unrelated to emotions, highlighting the deep connection between our mental and physical health.

Other common issues that might resonate include frequent headaches, digestive problems, unexplained fatigue, increased anxiety, weakened immune system, chronic pain, and difficulties in maintaining close relationships. If any of these sound familiar, it might be worth considering if difficulty managing emotions is a contributing factor. However, note that while resisting emotions can contribute to these issues, it's not the only possible cause.

Learning to process emotions revealed how much ignoring them was affecting my life. I used to think I didn’t have time for emotions, but now I see how much time it was costing me by trying to function with “bad fuel.” Most emotions process through the body in less than 90 seconds. Emotions manifest in the body, not the mind—a surprising realization for many analytical thinkers.

Where do you see emotion resisting in your life? Let’s have a conversation about it. Schedule a free visit here.

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