My Latest Goal Fail (and What I’m Doing About It)
I didn’t make it.
I set a goal for 100 intentional, deep-listening conversations by the end of 2024—and fell miserably short. In the past, I almost certainly would have berated myself for the "failure," giving myself a verbal spanking to do better next time (while likely procrastinating for fear of failing again). But not anymore. These days, I approach goals differently. For me, it’s less about hitting a target on a set timeline and more about becoming the person I want to be through the process. This shift is huge for me.
Why Goals Can Feel Like Frenemies
I’ll admit it: I’ve had a complicated relationship with goals. For years, I thought there was a “right way” to set them, handed down by some expert on high. You know, the kind of advice that doesn’t get questioned. But here’s the problem—when someone else’s method doesn’t click, we often abandon the dream altogether.
So when I didn’t hit my goal, I knew it was time to check in with myself instead of giving up. What I found was both humbling and empowering.
What I Did Next
1. Skipped the Scolding.
My proudest moment? I didn’t beat myself up. Instead, I allowed for the possibility that I had simply miscalculated how long this goal would take. Big win right there.
2. Evaluated the Goal.
Did I still feel aligned with it? Yes! The goal of having 100 deep, meaningful conversations lit me up. I wasn’t chasing it to please someone else or because I felt I “should.” This was something I truly wanted.
3. Adjusted the Plan.
Here’s what I decided to keep and tweak:
Keep:
The goal itself—it’s meaningful and exciting.
Social media invitations—I’ve already made great connections this way.
My outreach at a business meetup group—it’s been a solid lead source.
Adjust:
Timeline: I’m giving myself grace to extend it as needed.
What counts: Instead of limiting the goal to scheduled conversations, I’m including organic ones where deep listening happens naturally.
Record-keeping: Some conversations slipped through the cracks, so I’ll track them better moving forward.
Proactivity: No more waiting for people to come to me. I’ll seek out those who want or need to be heard.
Goals Are About Who You Become
The truth is, I’m not the same person who started this journey. Even though I didn’t “achieve” the goal on paper, I’ve grown in ways that matter: patience, resilience, and self-compassion. And isn’t that the point?
So, what’s next for you? If a goal has been nagging at you—or if you’ve stalled out—ask yourself:
Does this goal still matter to me?
Can I adjust my approach without abandoning my dream?
How can I make the process as rewarding as the outcome?
Remember, the best goals stretch us, align with our values, and allow room for imperfection. Focus on persistence over perfection! By sticking with it, even when things don’t go as planned, you’ll grow in ways that matter—and that’s the true achievement.
As for me, I’m still working toward those 100 conversations. And maybe one day, I’ll write about how it all turned out. But for now, I’m content to celebrate the progress I’ve made and the person I’m becoming.
What about you? Have you ever adjusted a goal or shifted your approach? I’d love to hear your story! Share your experience in the comments or send me a message—I’m always up for a meaningful conversation.
High five ✋
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