Never Look Back: What I Did When My Muscle Memory Failed Me

I used to wish I could go back.

Back to the body I used to have.

Back to the ease in certain relationships.

Back to the “good old days.”

Back to the version of me that could jump higher, move faster, or throw farther.

Sound familiar?

We’ve all been there—missing what was, longing for what used to be. But here’s the thing: the past isn’t where your life is happening. And trying to “get back” to it can quietly stunt your growth, keeping you from creating something even better now.

A few years ago, I had both knees replaced and a rotator cuff repaired within months of each other. (I like to do things in batches, apparently.) I knew recovery would take time, and I briefly considered writing down my pre-surgery workout routine so I could “get back” to it later.

But then it hit me—why would I try to recreate something from a body I no longer had?

Instead, I chose to let that version go. I didn’t track the old weights I was lifting. I focused on building a new normal—based on my current body, my current life. That mindset spared me a mountain of frustration.

Fast forward to now: I’ve started playing basketball again with a group of women several times a week. I used to play competitively, but let’s just say my knees and I have been through some things since then. The first few times back on the court, my brain remembered exactly how to shoot, how to jump… but my body? It had different plans.

What I realized is this: my muscle memory was for a different body. A younger body. A pre-surgery body. And trying to tap into those old patterns wasn’t just unhelpful—it was holding me back.

So now, I’m building new muscle memory. I’m learning what works now. I’ve had to rely more on my legs, adjust my shot, be okay with a shorter range—for now. The fun is in the progress, not in the rewind.

The goal isn’t to get back to who you were.

It’s to become more of who you’re meant to be now.

If you’ve been longing for the past—whether it’s a past body, a past relationship, or a past version of yourself—pause and ask:

• What am I hoping to feel by going back?

• What’s possible if I build from here instead?

• How can my new normal be even better, because of what I’ve learned?

Life happens in the now—where progress begins. And that’s something the past can’t offer.

Make new memories. Train new muscles. Create something so good you’ll never want to look back.

High five ✋

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