You Are What You Think

Yes, this is a play on “you are what you eat.”

Just like the quality of food we put in our body affects our output, the sentences we feed our brain affect our results.

I’ve been paying close attention to the sentences I say — both internally and out loud.

Because here’s what I’ve noticed:

The primitive part of the brain is a wonderful servant.

It takes orders beautifully.

But if we don’t intentionally direct it with our higher thinking brain, it will quietly run the show on autopilot. And autopilot tends to favor what’s familiar, safe, and limiting.

Give the brain a sentence, and it gets to work proving that sentence true. It starts collecting evidence. (Hello, confirmation bias.)

So when we casually say things like:

• I can’t

• I don’t know

• I’m not the kind of person who…

• I’ll never be able to…

• That’s just how I am

• It’s too hard

• I’m bad at that

• I could never pull that off

The brain hears: Case closed. No further action required.

It shuts down the search.

“I can’t” shuts down action.

“I don’t know” shuts down thinking.

Now, before someone gets clever — no, this isn’t about jumping to the moon or becoming an Olympic gymnast at 47.

This is about the everyday “yes, you probably could — at least a version of it” statements.

I’ve done this myself. I used to joke, “I’m allergic to sewing.”

Translation: I can’t sew.

But that’s not actually true.

I can sew on a button. I can patch a hole. I used to embroider. I may not be designing wedding dresses like my mom once did — but if I truly wanted to, I could learn more.

When we say “I can’t,” we pile unnecessary roadblocks in front of perfectly capable people — including ourselves.

And it doesn’t just affect us.

We do this with other people too, especially kids:

• “She doesn’t like broccoli.”

• “He’s shy.”

• “She’s not athletic.”

• “He’s not a math kid.”

Those sentences can quietly become identities.

And their brains go to work proving them true.

None of this is about forcing ourselves (or anyone else) into things that truly aren’t wise or safe. There are seasons and limitations that deserve respect.

But there’s a big difference between:

“I need to go slow right now.”

and

“I can’t.”

One leaves room.

The other shuts the door.

I recently read a quote from James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits,” that stuck with me. He pointed out that the people who win and the people who lose actually have more in common with each other than with the people sitting on the sidelines.

Both tried.

Both risked embarrassment.

Both stayed in the game.

The sidelines are safe.

But sterile.

And I’m a fan of being in the game.

So here are a few simple “brain retraining” swaps:

Instead of “I can’t…”

Ask:

• How might I?

• What’s the smallest version of this I could try?

• How have I done something similar before?

• What would trying look like — not succeeding, just trying?

Instead of “I don’t know…”

Try:

• What’s my best guess?

• How would someone I admire approach this?

• What would I try if I had to move forward anyway?

• I don’t know… yet. (Adding “yet” is small but powerful. It keeps the search engine on.)

And here’s something subtle but powerful:

“I don’t know” is often not a knowledge problem.

It’s a discomfort problem.

Your brain may be trying to avoid:

• responsibility

• risk

• being wrong

• making a decision

So getting yourself to say anything beyond “I don’t know” is a win.

Even a rough guess keeps your brain engaged and searching instead of shutting the door.

Instead of “I’m not…” or “I’ll never…”

Play with:

• What would it look like if I was?

• What’s one tiny behavior that version of me would do?

• Is this a fact — or just a sentence I’ve repeated a lot?

Kids are excellent at pretending. At imagining. At trying on identities.

Somewhere along the way, many of us decided that was immature.

It’s not.

It’s creative problem solving.

You don’t have to announce your new possibilities to the world.

Just stop issuing final verdicts to your brain.

Pay attention to your trigger sentences this week.

Not to judge them.

Just to notice them.

Because you are what you think.

And your brain is always listening — even when your ears miss what you’re saying.

High five! ✋ 

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