Before You Call It True Colors...

I'm stepping onto my soapbox today — and I genuinely welcome pushback, because soapbox moments are exactly where blind spots love to hide.

A friend of mine — someone I've known her whole life — recently went through a really rough stretch. She'll tell you herself she didn't show up the way she normally does. Some relationships took hits during that season, and she's been grieving one of those losses ever since. What stings most? Hearing that someone walked away convinced they'd finally seen her true colors.

I'll give that half a point — colors, yes. The "true" part? I want to think differently about that for a few minutes.

Here's the mental model I keep coming back to: every person carries a whole spectrum. Lighter shades on one end, darker on the other. We come into this world glowing white. Then life happens — experiences, hard seasons, interpretations that stick — and we start moving through the spectrum.

Most people land in the lighter colors most of the time. But every single one of us has visited the darker end. Every one.

Some people spend more time there than others, and honestly, I have a lot of compassion for them — I have no idea what they've lived through to get there.

But that wasn't my friend's story. At her core, she leads with kindness — and I'd guess the same is true for most people reading this. One hard season doesn't get to erase that.

So I reminded her of something I think we all need to hear: someone else doesn't get to hand down a verdict on your true colors. And honestly, most of us are already too hard on ourselves to need anyone else piling on. How many of us think we're far more flawed than we actually are?

My own belief is that whatever higher power you hold to — God, the Universe, something larger than yourself — has a far more complete view of who each of us really is than we ever could. That perspective, not a single hard season, is what paints the truest picture.

What if our actual job isn't to judge each other's colors at all — but to help each other shine in the brightest ones?

Being human means we're going to ebb and flow. We're going to show up in colors we're not proud of. We're also going to misjudge others — I know I've done my fair share of that.

So here's my challenge for today: when you notice darker colors coming from someone (or from yourself), pause long enough to remember the lighter ones too. A person's worst season is not their whole story. And if you truly can't recall a single moment of lighter colors? You might just not know them well enough yet.

The world gets brighter when we choose to look for the light — in others and in ourselves.

High five! ✋ 

Ready to rewire how you think? Let's talk: https://www.outofsmallthings.com/workwithme

Like what you read?

Subscribe below so you don’t miss the next post—and if this helped you, share it with a friend who might need the same boost today.