When Being Liked Is Running Your Life

I recently started back to college (perks of having a spouse who works at a university!). At orientation, my assigned Ace mentor—who could easily be the same age as my kids—stood up and said: “I want to support you in whatever way you need. If you don’t really care for me, I might be a little hurt, but it won’t last long. Just let me know.”

I wanted to stop him right there and say: “Listen, Tanner. If someone doesn’t like peaches, that doesn’t mean the peach is bad. It just means they’re more of an apple person. You’re still a perfectly good peach.”

That’s the thing about being liked. When we start thinking we need to be everyone’s favorite fruit, we burn a lot of energy polishing ourselves up, trying to appeal to every possible palate. It’s exhausting—and it doesn’t even work. (Trust me, some people will still walk right past the peach and head straight for the bananas.)

Here’s the kicker: this shows up in everyday life more than we realize.

Think about the new manager who steps into a leadership role at a company where the culture runs on drama. Instead of leading confidently, she spends her energy worrying about being liked. She changes her approach depending on who she’s talking to, bends over backwards to avoid offending anyone, and ends up feeling drained and insecure. Ironically, she’d probably gain more respect just by being steady, consistent, and herself—allowing others to form their opinions without scrambling to manage them.

But here’s the hard truth:

When being liked is running your life, you’re not running your life.

The approval you’re chasing starts calling the shots.

And let’s be honest—some people just aren’t peach people. That doesn’t make you less valuable, less capable, or less worthy. It just means your flavor isn’t their favorite.

So instead of auditioning for everyone’s approval, what if you redirected that energy into your people and your purpose? Imagine what would change if you stopped trying to win over the critics in the cheap seats and invested in the ones who already get you.

✨ Here’s your invitation: the next time you catch yourself editing, people-pleasing, or over-explaining to win someone over, pause and ask—Am I living for their approval or my own alignment?

Because freedom doesn’t come from being liked. Freedom comes from being real.

High five! ✋

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